A Night at the Roxbury

STEVE & DOUG BUTABI


Our heroes. In their minds, Steve is tall, dark and handsome and DOUG is a little genius. Neither is correct
-- except for the tall and little part.


They simultaneously turn and scope the room. In unison, their heads bop to the MUSIC. Doug steps out from the bar.


DOUG
(to O.S. female)
Hey! You want to dance? No?
Yes? Alright, don't worry about
it.


Doug, rejected, steps back as Steve steps out.


STEVE
(to O.S. female)
Do you want to dance? You do?
You don't? Not a problem.


They are no strangers to rejection, so neither is fazed.
Doug enthusiastically steps towards two attractive girls.


DOUG
Hey, you wanna...?


Two attractive girls turn their backs to Doug.


DOUG
(remaining positive)
No? Maybe I'll see you later.


Doug steps back. Steve spots GIRL at end of BAR and
dances over to her.


STEVE
Hey, do you want to dance?


GIRL AT BAR
No.


STEVE
(cheerfully)
Alright, you know where I'll be.


Steve steps back. Doug sees a pretty woman on a balcony,
waving to someone.


DOUG/STEVE
(pointing to each other)
You want him? Me? Him? Me?


Pretty woman waves them off, frustrated, and disappears.


STEVE
... Oh, you're okay?


DOUG
Alright then.


They turn around to the bar, bartender is standing in
front of them.


STEVE
Bartender, can I get a beer?


The bartender pays no attention and walks away. Second
bartender comes from the opposite direction.


DOUG
Barkeep, what do you have on tap?


The second bartender ignores them, walks away. The
bartenders keep crossing past them paying no attention.


STEVE
Big guy, could I get a...


DOUG
My man, how 'bout a...


STEVE
S'cuse me, partner...


DOUG
Yo, buddy, I was wondering... you
know what? Don't worry about it.


STEVE
Yeah, we're good.


They turn back to the dance floor and bop. Suddenly, a
HOT GIRL dances in front of them.


Doug dances up behind her and frantically gyrates. She
turns away -- only to find...


Steve gyrating behind her. The guys close in on her
trapping her in the middle.


HOT GIRL
Get off me!


She runs off, furious. The guys, unaware that she's
upset, celebrate.


STEVE/DOUG
Score!


They high five. The doorman comes over with the upset
Girl and pulls the guys out.


STEVE/DOUG
What? What's goin' on? What's
your problem?


CUT TO:


EXT. SUNSET BLVD. - NIGHT


The road flies by as we pan up the front grill of a red
BMW to reveal Doug and Steve. The car stops next to two
girls in a white Porshe.


INT. BMW - NIGHT


DOUG
We got some sweetness on the left.


Doug turns up the STEREO really loud so the car is
pounding.


STEVE
(to the girls)
What's up?


DOUG
(to the girls)
How you ladies doin' tonight?


INTERCUT GIRLS' POV


The guys moving their mouths -- but the girls can't hear
them.


GIRL #1
Turn your music down!


DOUG
Yeah! Just follow us!


GIRL #2
You're a big stupid ass!


STEVE
No. You have beautiful eyes!


DOUG
I like you too!


GIRL #1
Go home, jerkoff!


STEVE
Okay, we'll meet you there.


The light turns green. Girls drive off.


CUT TO:


EXT. ROXBURY CLUB - NIGHT


A neon sign reads "ROXBURY."


ROXBURY CLUB FRONT DOOR


A huge muscular BOUNCER, wearing a headset, guards the
roped off area. Doug and Steve confidently strut past
the crowd.


BOUNCER
Stop!


DOUG/STEVE
What's up?


BOUNCER
Guys, this is the Roxbury. No one
gets in unless you're on the list.


DOUG
We're on the list.


BOUNCER
Names?


DOUG
Doug Butabi.


STEVE
Steve Butabi.


BOUNCER
You're brothers?


DOUG
No...


They slowly turn to each other and bust.


DOUG/STEVE
... Yes!


They high five, laughing.


BOUNCER
Quite a joke.


STEVE
Doug is hilarious.


DOUG
Yeah, I know.


BOUNCER
Yeah, you ever hear this one?
You're not on the list.


Behind Steve and Doug, a '98 yellow FERRARI SCREECHES up
to the valet. Car door opens and...


RICHARD GRIECO


gets out. Looking great, in an Armani suit, beautiful
supermodel accompanies him.


STEVE
(beside himself)
Is that...?


DOUG
It is. The King of '21 Jump
Street.' Richard Grieco.


Grieco quickly steps past Steve and Doug.


STEVE
(aside to Doug)
Check the wheels.


DOUG
Check the hottie.


The Bouncer jumps aside, letting them enter. Richard
inadvertently rubs his nose as he enters.



accompany- towarzyszyć
barkeep- barman
bartender- barman
bop- tańczyć
bust- ponieść klęskę; pokłócić się
celebrate- świętować
confidently- z przekonaniem, z pewnością siebie
fazed- zaniepokojony
frantically- gorączkowo
frustrated- sfrustrowany, przygnębiony
get off me!- zostaw mnie!
gyrate- wirować w koło
high five- “przybijać piątkę”
hilarious- zabawny, wesoły
hottie- laska, atrakcyjna dziewczyna
in unison- zgodnie, razem, unisono
inadvertently- nieumyślnie
jerkoff- onanista
pay no attention- nie zwracać uwagi
positive- przekonany, optymistycznie nastawiony
pound- grzmocić
pull sb out- wyciągać kogoś
rejected- odrzucony
rejection- odrzucenie, odmowa
remain- pozostawać
reveal- odkrywać, odsłaniać, wyjawiać
roped off- otoczony liną / taśmą
rub- trzeć, pocierać
scope- oglądać, rozglądać się
screech- piszczeć
simultaneously- równocześnie
spot- zauważać, spostrzegać
step out- wystąpić naprzód
strut- dumnie kroczyć
tap- kran, kurek
trap- schwytac w pułapkę, osaczać
unaware- nieświadomy
upset- przygnębiony, smutny
valet- osobisty służący
wave sb off- machać komuś na pożegnanie
wave- machać (komuś, do kogoś)


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